With COVID-19, we are navigating a shared change and very individual transitions.

Yes, there is a difference between the two.

They may feel the same, but they are very different. Change is external and transition is the internal process we experience in response to change. There are two books, both written by William Bridges, that I use when I work with clients in career and life transition. And this pandemic is certainly a career and life transition that none of us have experienced before.

• The Way of Transition – A more personal account of Bridges’ own experiences with change and transition.
• Transition: Making Sense of Life’s Changes – Focused on the meat and potatoes of the three stages without so much personal background.

“Change is something that happens to people, even if they don’t agree with it. Transition, on the other hand, is internal: it’s what happens in people’s minds as they go through change. Change can happen very quickly, while transition usually occurs more slowly.” ~William Bridges

COVID-19 has changed us all. And, we are all transitioning in our very personal ways.

Using Bridges’ model, there are three stages of transition. Endings, The Neutral Zone, and New Beginnings.

• ENDINGS: Loss, letting go, saying goodbye. If you are here, we talk about the importance of honoring what is ending. I’ve had clients plant trees, bury tokens, and unsubscribe to industry news to mark the ending of a chapter. Marking the end is necessary before a new beginning can start. 
• THE NEUTRAL ZONE: Characterized by chaos, instability, disorientation. Sound familiar? And, also present in massive quantities in this zone are creativity, innovation, and possibility. If you are here, this state is temporary. The most important thing we can do is be compassionate with ourselves, find resources, support systems, and use mindful strategies to be open to the innovation and creativity that shares this space.
• NEW BEGINNINGS: This is a phase of reorientation, acceptance, and identification with a new way of being. It may be that you accept the new that has replaced the old or that you see a sense of who you are becoming on the other side. If you are here, there may be relief that you’ve navigated through the uncertainty, there also may be new anxiety, excitement, and awareness that change may come again.

The change that the pandemic has forced upon us is shared. The transition we experience individually is very personal. Everyone moves through these stages at their own pace. I believe the more resources we have, the better.

These books are my go-tos. Bridges’ down-to-earth, practical concepts can help us navigate this shared yet very individual experience.

We know of the glass ceiling. Ever heard of the glass wall?

A young woman stood on one side of a glass wall, watching her company’s business event happening on the other side. She was in there moments ago with her heels and suit. 

But pretending that she cared about the corporate blah-blah-blah wasn’t her jam. She left to get some air and caught the scene through the glass that now separated her from the event – and her fake self from her real self.

After years of deciphering clues from many glass wall moments, she fakes it no more.

If you’ve had your own glass wall moments – looking in, not feeling connected, not wanting to be connected – ask yourself:

• What’s the scene I’d be excited to rejoin?
• Who are the people, what is the environment, vibe, dress, emotion from that scene?
• What are people talking about? Making? Creating? Building? Solving?

And maybe even

• How can I create my own scene and invite others in?

Shatter the glass wall. Live you genuine.

I can help you do that. It’s my jam. 

Is Your Purpose Unfolding During the Coronavirus Pandemic?

Sometimes we follow an instinct or our intuition, like an internal whisper, to make a career or life change and we aren’t clear on exactly why we are compelled to honor that whisper. Sometimes, we find value and meaning right away. Sometimes we struggle. And, sometimes, that “Big Why” is revealed much later…like during a global pandemic.

I am launching a video interview series and want to talk to people who are fully realizing the value of their shift during the Coronavirus crisis. I want to know how your your path unfolded. 

Here are two short ( 2-min) videos explaining the Honor the Whisper Project. Forgive the rough cut on the 2nd when my dog generously contributed to the audio!

Let’s create something together! Email Barbara@LiveYourGenuine.com or connect on LinkedIn to share your story.

Jonah Hill, actor-director-producer, was interviewed on the Howard Stern Show in October 2018 (I’m an unapologetic fan since the early ’90s) and something Jonah said about doing work he loves resonated so deeply with me that I made note of it and posted a meme. Little did I know that one month later, I would stumble across an opportunity to immerse myself in a brain-based coaching program to learn more about how creating and connecting forms the framework for building our capacity at work and in life.

Capacity. What is that anyway? Is it the amount something can hold? Is it output? It can be both; holding and doing. We can apply the word to how much water an unyielding glass can hold before it overflows or how many parts a machine can produce in one hour but capacity interests me most when applied to humans.  We aren’t always great at recognizing our potential for growth. Rigid and limiting visions of ourselves and can allow output, our “doing”, to be sabotaged by what we tell ourselves about our capacity.

You are more than your limited perception of you and your capacity is greater than you realize.

As a coach who works with clients in major career and life transition, I know that capacity for finding solutions, identifying new possibilities, and dealing with setbacks increases when people are in a builder mindset. Just as capacity can be described as holding and doing, getting to a builder mindset boils down to creating and connecting. Begin by paying attention to these three things:

1. Notice if you are separating more than connecting – with yourself and with others.

Humans are hard-wired to connect. When we rely only on ourselves or are not connecting with our genuine self in meaningful ways, we are limiting our awareness and possibilities. When you notice you are going it alone ask yourself questions like Who might have new ideas about this? And who else? If I asked my real self, what would she say? Who else could be on this team?

2. Pay attention to whether you are reacting more than you are creating.

Reacting is a fight/flight/freeze response and our best decisions and solutions aren’t born here. When you notice you’re reacting to everything “out there” or waiting for the next shoe to drop or reacting only to the needs of others and not your own, ask yourself or your team What possibilities does this challenge present? What opportunities do you see? What part of this can be influenced?

3. Take deliberate action to move on the scale toward creating and connecting.

Move away from separating and reacting. Make the call, send the email, schedule the meeting, wake up 15 minutes early, write the blog post…DO something to move that needle.

What you will find is that connecting leads to creating and creating leads to connecting and it is in this cycle that we build our capacity for almost anything life and business throws at us.

Want to learn more? Connect here to learn more about what we could create together!

“I didn’t realize just how much of a beating my self-confidence was taking from being in the wrong profession.”

This was an email from a recent client, who successfully executed a complete career change (functional skills and industry change).

Thrilled to be tapped by The Morning Call, Lehigh Valley’s leading newspaper, for this piece in the Sunday career section. Thank you for great questions!

Read here: CareerWellnessInTheMorningCall

            “Meaningful work, for me, is about helping others find their meaningful work.” ~Barbara Berger, CCC

If you want to brainstorm ideas for your next career move, contact me at barbara@CareerWellnessPartners.com

 

 

Executive or hourly employee, admin or mid-level manager, career change – even the thought of it – strikes the same basic fears and insecurities regardless rank. It is true that every individual brings a unique mix of circumstances to a career transition, but at the basic human level the fears, self-doubt, and concerns of the unknown exist on all steps of the ladder, on the lattice, in the silo, across the matrix, on the plant floor, and in the cubicles.

This is assuming that basic survival needs are covered.

I am talking about the idea of changing from a career, a company, or a position we know to something new. When our instinct fiercely fights to hold on to a familiar identity, we struggle to navigate the changes that career transition represents. We hold on, white-knuckled, while we try to align a new career direction with notions of who we may want to become next.

Yes, we are all different. But, underneath it all, we are so very much the same.

There are lucky souls on this earth who find their calling early. Many of us envy them, but some people find it in their early years. They may be 22 and on their way through medical school knowing that they were put on this earth to heal someone. It doesn’t mean they’ve peaked of course, but it does mean they’re lucky.

Some people find their calling early and then fall out of love with it. Things happen in life that change us, change our jobs, or change our industries. Companies change and responsibilities evolve. Sometimes we are promoted out of a job that was the perfect fit for us, or we outgrow the perfect job.

The Challenges for Older Employees

When you’re young and looking for your calling life appears filled with opportunities, and most of the time you’re living on less than you elders. Perhaps you rent an apartment and live in a city. You probably don’t have dependents. Of course, I realize there are things like student debt and individual challenges, but hear me out.

As you climb your career ladder, you get used to certain things. Apart from a larger paycheck than your early career years, you probably have earned a certain level of responsibility and respect within your company and industry. Maybe even a title that reflects that. You also probably have a mortgage, more luxuries in your life that you don’t want to give up, and children who depend on you. Leaving the job you used to love for a new one you’re passionate about may mean giving up a lot. It’s frightening, but so is the idea of spending the rest of your work life in a job that drains you.

First Steps Focus: Your Mindset

Like almost everything we try to accomplish in life, fear is the primary obstacle to our success. Fear of losing our material belongings, status, and security are especially difficult when we look to alter our career. And of course, the demon of all fears – fear of failure – overshadows it all. There is no easy answer; tackling fear can be a show-stopper if we let it. So my one piece of advice, the only way I know to get past it, is to accept it. Know and accept that you will be scared, and get comfortable with that fear.

But understand this, it won’t always be scary. You will actually, despite what you think now, get used to the idea of change and it will become less scary. And you don’t have to QUIT your job. You can do the work on yourself and your career without giving up your job, you just have to commit to it and remain focused, and disciplined, on walking down that path.

Next Steps

If any of what I described above resonates with you, and you desperately want to love your job again, there is help out there. This is what career coaches do. You don’t have to work with me; I’m not trying to hard-sell you, but trust me, working with a professional can make this journey far less scary, and far less frustrating.

Need some inspiration? Check out this post about how four people in different stages of their careers successfully made a shift happen.

photo credit: Alfonsina Blyde » I will try fix you via photopin (license)

Look back over your career. How did you land where you are? Chances are you’ll be able to identify a random meeting, an unplanned collaboration, or chance event that represents a critical moment that helped you on your way to where you are right now.

Pooneh Mohajer, founder of Hard Candy and two other startups, talks about career serendipity:

It’s funny, we have these plans for ourselves, these well-laid plans, and then you meet someone or are influenced by something or exposed to something; and we end up going in another direction, which is great.

Read the full Inc.com article here.

Notice serendipitous events. Be mindful enough to sense your gut reaction to them. Be brave enough to act on them. That’s how to create a brilliantly fulfilling career.

A client just shared this TED Talk with me. If you have 12 minutes and have experienced anxiety with the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” you must watch this video. I’m now an official bSI6ImhvbWUtZmVlZDpkZXNrdG9wIiwibiI6IjAifQ
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” data-trk=”member-mention-name” data-li-miniprofile-id=”LI-9859263″ rel=”noopener noreferrer”>Emilie Wapnick fan. Enjoy!