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We often talk about “building a life” as if we’re supposed to have blueprints, floor plans, and permits before we begin.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
So much pressure to know what the end result is supposed to be. Where’s the fun in that?
My belief is that the most resonant and aligned lives aren’t pre-drawn but created…not from grand strategy, but from small signals.
From breadcrumbs.
In psychology, Hazel Markus’ Possible Selves theory suggests that we are constantly guided by imagined versions of ourselves–who we might become, who we hope or fear becoming. These visions shape our motivation, our choices, and our identity.
But those selves rarely arrive fully formed. Those future selves beg us to pay attention to subtle clues that might appear first as nudges or whispers. They are resonant moments bursting through the noise of life from what I call the breadcrumb frequency.
Breadcrumbs are the emotional spikes or subtle energetic hits we get when something “clicks” even if we don’t know why. They’re not always loud and they usually don’t explain themselves. But they stay.
Breadcrumbs and Possible Selves share common ground in that both rely on a process of noticing. One notices our imaginative process while creating a vision of a desired future self and the other notices moments that land differently than the rest. We use those moments, and the imagining of future selves, to allow flexibility in our becoming.
- One is an imagined self, pulling us forward.
- The other is felt resonance in the moment.
Building with only blueprints and being married to the outcome can override noticing because we become obsessed with following plans.
I don’t know many life plans that go exactly as drawn. Do you?
If you’re open to building in a new way, with a scaffolding that moves with you, check out The Breadcrumb Frequency (dropping in July) for exercises I’ve used with hundreds of clients.
It’ll help you build your future best self. Clue by Clue. Breadcrumb by breadcrumb.
